So today I planned to go on PilotEdge, studying my lines, studying what ATC will say to me, doing practice runs around an airfield offline. I’m nervous as hell. I want to use this service, heck even the monthly fee doesn’t bother me. I just don’t know if I can.

It’s not that I feel like I’m going to fail. I’m sure I’ll do real well and I’ll only get better. The problem is the environment around me at home. I have two dogs vying for my attention. I’m studying charts, spending time preparing for my first flight, learning what a pattern is or how to fly one…and I suddenly have a chore or responsibility to take care of…gotta take the dog out to poo…or she suddenly vomits on the floor.

Then I look outside and hear the planes flying. I want to fly around home, it’s a beautiful day out, a Cascade flight sounds like fun. PilotEdge takes place only in SoCal, and even flying in that area can be a scary experience…fly through Bravo airspace by accident because I didn’t study my charts and just be prepared to be yelled at.

I want realism, but it’s more of a weekend thing, and even that may not be feasible. I want to play other games as well…and I’m not sure if I can fully devote myself to real world ATC just yet.

The positive side is that I’m more confident in flying around VATSIM. It’s not realistic and it’s more of a hobbyist thing. But the casual environment can only help me make the first steps into a real world application.

I still have some time on my trial, and I still want to find some way to start a few flights. It’s not easy though…

I did a few practice flights in both FSX and X-Plane to get my bearings on PilotEdge. I decided to finally dump FSX after all. The framerates were terrible even on minimal settings, where I was getting fantastic visuals and a good framerate on X-Plane. When your trying to fly an approach and struggling with the rudder because there’s a delay due to the framerate dipping. It’s not fun at all…it’s damn near unplayable.

Took a few screenshots to show what I’m talking about:

That’s it for now. I’m probably going to do a VATSIM flight once I take the dogs out. I need to rest my brain for a bit.